Salaam all,
Nahjul Balagha tonight at 5.00pm 1/7/2012 at Br. Adil Zaidi's house. Please try to attend. We will be discussing the following saying by Imam Ali (A.S.)
"Unfortunate is he who cannot gain a few sincere friends during his life and more unfortunate is the one who has gained them and then lost them (through his deeds)."
This is #11 in my phone app. It might be #10 or #12 based on the book that you have.
Please come ready with some input to discuss this saying. Let us keep our comments to this saying to this particular post rather than creating new posts.
Jazakallah,
Imran.
B
ReplyDeleteSalam,
This is a very interesting site that has ahadith from many sources. IA we can make use of it when possible. Regarding the current saying here are some ahadith:
http://www.darolhadith.com/modules.php?name=my_AlfabetMenu&vid=232&scid=6
http://www.darolhadith.com/modules.php?name=my_AlfabetMenu&vid=39&scid=2
Interestingly some of the questions we had such as the need of friends that lead to the hereafter versus the worldly friends is addressed.
Thank you for posting these websites. It's really useful. I think this saying below captured the essence of the saying we discussed about friends:
Deleteتَشاكُلُ النُّفوسِ
Resemblance of Souls
5ـ الإمامُ عليٌّ (عَلَيهِ الّسَلامُ): النُّفُوسُ أشكالٌ ، فما تَشاكَلَ مِنها اتَّفَقَ ، والناسُ إلى أشكالِـهِم أميَلُ .
5–
Imam Ali (AS) said, ‘Souls resemble other souls, and those that resemble each other are in harmony, that is why people are attracted towards those they resemble.’
[Bihar al-Anwar, v. 78, p. 92, no. 100]
Comment by Zulfiqar Khandwala titled "Gaining Sincere Friends" - Does one have to be religious in order to gain sincere friends ? Can a secular person have sincere friends? I don't know if these comments would be outside the scope of the discussion.
ReplyDeleteBrother, I've deleted your post and added this as a comment to the original post about the saying. Let's try to comment on the main post rather than creating new posts every time when we discuss sayings because it will keep the discussion structured and organized. Jazakallah.
There were comments raised concerning whether your sincere friend should be of the same believing faith or not. Could a "sincere" friend who is not of the same faith as you lead you to salvation and keep you on the right path? Let's continue the discussion here.
ReplyDeleteAnother aspect that was completely forgotten about THE ONE sincere friend that we should all aspire to have is ALLAH. We didn't even delve into the aspect at all. But it is very important to consider when we hear it multiple times in majlises that ALLAH is your best friend and you should ask HIM for advice for everything. Even today, Maulana Hilli mentioned it in the majlis about the importance of recognizing HIM as your best friend.
ReplyDeleteI remember the sermon that we studied a couple of months ago regarding AVLIYAA of Allah i.e. friends of Allah and what we should do to achieve that status. I cant remember the sermon number and I couldn't find it just now. If someone can remember and post the sermon number, we can all go back and refer to it as well.
Salam,
ReplyDeleteMy opinion on brother Zulfiqar's question: I don't why secular people cannot have sincere friends. It is akhlaq that attracts friends not beliefs (granted that beliefs lead to akhlaq).
I think that the saying was directed to muslims though.
Asa-Wrh,
DeleteI agree with Br. Zeeshan. The friend doesn't have to be from same religion. Infact, he should have Wisdom. And to me "the fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom."
Also the most important part in making friends start from ourselves. Everything/Anything starts from a "dot." In our friends relationship - we are that "Dot", which means in my circle "I" am the dot.
DeleteRather thn finding that match of religiousness in a person we are approaching to make friendship with, v should find that in our "OWN heart." And in the utmost reality the UT logo of " what starts here changes the world" actually, psychologically, emotionally and truly applies here, for our own self. What I mean is that, if v r searching for someone who should be pure and pious, v can't reach to them unless v are at that level. And even by any chance if v get to that person, we won't be able to achieve all the bounties out of him that he is capable of. To give you an e.g, have Rasool e Khuda on one side and Abuzar on the other. Now understand who approach who and what was the reason. Same scenario with any other ashaab. And you will end up finding that each and every one of them approach Rasool e Khuda. And it was due to his "Husn e Iqlaq" and that's what Zeeshan bhai was trying to say in his fragment of "granted that beliefs lead to akhlaq." Before becoming a Rasool's friend all of them were Non-shia/ Non muslim. Same thing with the story of Karabala. Some of them were non-muslims, non-shias before sitting under Imam's tent. Same scenario of Agha Hilli, Tejani, Roohallah and many many more. Same story of those two who came to kill Ibraheem(not sure the name is right but the story is) and he knew it. Rather than attacking them before they will do,He ask them if they were hungry and would like to eat something and were impressed with his hospitality and became his follower or friends. Again it was due to His "Iqlaq."
We need to find tha,t are we truly in love with Lord? Do we have utmost satisfaction, because if we don't have complete satisfaction, v can't have complete "Yaqeen", and if we don't have yaqeen our every performance is hollow.
Once we compile this type of personality in our own selves thn we don't have to worry about who should v make friendship with, you will have them automatically. Just like magnet. Magnet doesn't find any metallic property in other metals but due to his own quality, all those who posses magnetic quality reaches towards Magnet.
Bother Zeeshan: what do you mean by beliefs when you say beliefs lead to Akhlaq ? Belief in the oneness of Allah?
ReplyDeletenot necessarily only belief in tawhid. If a Christian truly follows the way of Jesus (even as the bible portrays it) his akhlaq would begin to show that.
ReplyDeleteWhile a secular person (my definition: one who does not follow a religion or similar school of thought) is missing a source of guidance in terms of behavior, it is not impossible for them to possess certain good akhlaq because that is acceptable in their society.
Example: we have ahadith encouraging good behavior with people even as small a deed as smiling, does this mean that only people who follow rules derived from religion are those who smile?
However, my understanding of sincere friends is quite different, in my opinion a sincere friend is one who would take me towards the hereafter and not allow me to be heedless of that. So if we take that definition of a sincere friend then a secular person can only have sincere friends if these friends are the kind who would do that.
So then by your definition a religious person cannot have a sincere secular friend is that correct brother Zeeshan ?
ReplyDeleteIn the absolute sense, yes. As also mentioned in the post, it is possible to have friends that are secular, and these friends might even show some of the characteristics we expect from believers; but they will come short when it comes to the hereafter.
ReplyDeleteHaving given my opinion, I would like to know yours, and the others' as well.
True- very few friends whether religious or secular really fall in that category. Thats my opinion.
ReplyDeleteJazakallah. Avery interesting discussion.
We have always maintained that the sermons and sayings of Imam Ali (AS) cannot be restricted to only his followers. They are for the entire world, for everyone. We have to keep this in mind when we discuss who he might be referring to. Also, when Maulana Sekaleshfar returns from Sweden, I want to see the context and history behind this saying and it will shed more light on it also.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, the word "sincerity" in friendship and action is the key here. Sincerity is defined as "The quality or condition of being sincere; genuineness, honesty, and freedom from duplicity" I would like to focus on the duplicity here. Duplicity could also be understood as hypocrisy. So a sincere friend would try to keep you away from duplicity and hypocrisy.
I agree with Br. Zeeshan here when he says that the sincere friend must help you for duniya and the akherat. If your sincere friend happens to be not of the same faith as you, he may definitely help you for duniya but would he help you out for akherat in a manner that you would like and you would benifit. I would beg to differ on this.
Lastly, I want to know the Arabic for this saying because the word used for "sincere" is important. If anyone can find the Arabic for this please post it. I will go to Br. Shaida's house ASAP to look it up there.
Aajazun naase mun ajaza anik tesaabe alikhwaane wa aajazo minho mun zayyeaa mun zafera behee minhum
ReplyDeleteThe word aajiz is used in arabic which means someone who is helpless and does not possess a certain quality due to his or her own character attributes. Making quality friends is an important quality to have. More importantly making sincere friends and losing them due to your own character is a sign of a failure as a person
ReplyDeleteوقال(عليه السلام): أَعْجَزُ النَّاسِ مَنْ عَجَزَ عَنِ اكْتِسَابِ الاِْخْوَانِ، وَأَعْجَزُ مِنْهُ مَنْ ضَيَّعَ مَنْ ظَفِرَ بِهِ مِنْهُمْ.
ReplyDeleteSalam,
ReplyDeleteAhsant, I think that was the point of the saying as well- to improve oneself rather than focusing outwards.
I really like the phrase: "without yaqeen our every performance is hollow" ahsant brother.
IA it will be good to hear everyones thoughts on saying #1 tomorrow
Salam,
ReplyDeleteAhsant, I think that was the point of the saying as well- to improve oneself rather than focusing outwards.
I really like the phrase: "without yaqeen our every performance is hollow" ahsant brother.
IA it will be good to hear everyones thoughts on saying #1 tomorrow